a helluva a lot is at stake...

"no mistake, there is a lot here at stake

trying to balance a helluva a lot of stuff on ma plate

juggling between those books and all of those courses each day

trying to find a time for maself to have a time off today..."

Da Deft

physics test demoralized me today. maths IQ test incinerated ma very being. i still have outstanding maths and physics homework, not forgetting revision of ALL ma subjects which needs to be done before ma first OFFICIAL test in school which will be somewhere between late July and early August. and to top it all off...i have a chemistry test tomorrow...

"oh, what blissful bliss, how i wished to be deceased..."

feeling rather lethargic lately as well. but, the will in me is pounding and it says, 'go on.'

but...what if i can't?

of 'belacan' and life...

now...for those of you who are oblivious to what belacan is, it is actually a Malay word for shrimp paste - an admirable ingredient which is widely used in Southeast Asian and Southern Chinese cuisine. there are also various names given to this shrimp paste and/or shrimp sauce according to the various types of shrimps used to concoct this ingredient. and how do i know all this? the wonders of the Internet *chuckles*.

anyhow, how does belacan apply to life other than making a dish more appetizing? well, for today...the term belacan has been spoken to me twice. first was in the morning and the second was a couple of minutes ago. on both occasions, ma mom uttered the word belacan for countless of times in her sentences.

and the sentence that stuck with me was from this morning actually...she told me one of her many life stories - involving food. it went something like this...

"y'know, the last time there was this man from Melaka who sold very nice belacan. so, i asked Ah Yee (ma mom's youngest sister) to buy it for me." ma mom said.

"but then...someone close to me wanted it so badly. so...i gave it to that person." she elaborated.

"after which, i told Ah Yee and got a scolding from her. 'cause now the man who sold the belacan is dead and it's hard to find another type of belacan with the same great quality and taste anymore." ma mom pointed out matter-of-factly.

"so, next time...don't give away good things. one should keep it to one's self and treasure it...'cause one might not get it again..." she concluded.

with reference to the context, i totally agree with her last statement - "one should keep it to one's self and treasure it...'cause one might not get it again..."

and currently, that is how it applies to ma life...

***

PS. portions of the conversation were altered for reasons pertaining to privacy issues.

Thank You.

of goodbyes & hellos...

wow. can't imagine that it has only been 3 weeks since i entered the world of Pre-U, which in my case is, Form 6 (F6). life is supposedly stress-filled and/or stressful, but i'm not really feelin' it (note the phrase 'not really'). anyway, in the course of those 3 weeks of ma life, many new relationships were built, many retained and many more TO BE built. however, there is this one dude from ma class (i'm in the Physics class, if you're wondering) whom i have NEVER rubbed shoulders with prior to the F6 intake...and suddenly, i have this urge to blog and/or write about him.

to me, he is one cool dude. as i am currently the Class Monitor (4 years running) and he, the Head of Cleanliness of the class (Ketua Kebersihan), i deal with him often to ensure that the class is spick and span throughout the day. and as some of y'all know me, i'm not one of the EASIEST of people to deal with (confession is good for the soul...bad for reputation *chuckles*). but to me, personally, this dude exhibited much composure and patience and didn't blow over..not sayin' that i was pushing him to the edge or anythin' but MOST people who are newly acquainted to me will have a rather weird impression of me - not that i mind or anythin' but it's more of a misconception.

but, i gotta admit...this dude is cool and i'm gonna miss his jokes and especially his antics in class *reminiscing*. he's leaving for Penang to further his studies and today was his last day in school. and i don't really know why but although i've only known him for a couple of weeks, i feel like we're brothers. hahahahahaha. i think F6 is wrecking ma brain. but anyway, yeah.

"All the best! GOD bless!"

and this goes out to, Jivetharman a/l Sekar aka. JEEVAN. keep safe, dude! :)