restoring Mother Nature...

it's been some time since ma previous post, no? well, was rather busy with school work and what not. but i thought of blogging about today. so, here we go...

did a performance in school for the afternoon session peeps. it was during their assembly and it was a substantially good performance *smiles*...collaborated with Eric (Chang Ching Yet) on the beats - first time collaborating with him for anyone who wishes to know. moving on, HE was on the beats whereas, i did a full-blown rap about the environment and how we can overcome and/or reduce climate change, global warming, carbon footprint and etc. why? 'cause it was for a launching of a program in school about the environment and recycling and carbon footprint and...you get the picture, don't you? anyway, here are the lyrics to ma flow i just busted awhile ago...

alright! all ears on me now, aight! yo, yo, yo...check it!

the weather's deranged and it's caused by climate change

so, we gotta make a difference and we gotta make a change

if we wanna save our planet, we better go act upon it

and about pollution? man! we better go stop it!

we gotta 'go green', come clean, you get what i mean?

we better start recycling; overcoming the scene

deforestation is wrecking a lot of havoc on nations

so, it's time to step up, no time to be complacent

about carbon emissions, that is our number 1 mission

by reducing our carbon footprint, we save our generation

reduce global warming, increase our understanding

that with one small step, all the tables are turning

in our favour, and with that, we become our own saviour

no more the need of fussing and grumbling under the weather

'cause we strive to be better, to resecure our future

that is why i say, "we better love Mother Nature!"

melting point...

there's definitely bigger things to be concerned about

i know about it for sure, definitely i don't doubt

so what am i doing here? gettin' stuck and can't get out?

i need the strength from God, man, He gotta pull me out!

from ma misery and pain that i've laid upon maself

didn't wanna go to God, thought i could handle maself

but when things seem bleak and all around, you weak

there's only one you can go to, gotta lay it at His feet

and hope and pray, submit, commit your life today

no more goin' back to how it was, damn ma ways

i gotta start it all over, melt maself into clay

i need the Potter to shape me and mould ma ways

am i serious? i'm curious. am i being delirious?

i don't wanna be a joke, man. it's not hilarious

precarious, it is. as i'll be dealing with God

but actually, i'm the one being dealt by God!

playin' poker in the park...

huh! what? check it!

you gotta brace yourself to break yourself in order to locate yourself

the only way to live is like i said, is just to die to self

but what do you mean by dying? you're dead! so, quit lying!

i mean, get over those feelings in order to quit crying!

so, quit trying if you intend to keep trying

to relive the moments and pretend that you're still flying

but you ain't flying, you're falling, you're sinking, you're crawling

but at least i got ma head intact, it's not gone bawling

but so what if it's not? not like that i forgot

about all that we've been through and all that we've gotten into

although, i wish i did, for now, at this moment

'cause it's tearin' me apart and i feel so broken

but life goes on...as you've heard in any song

but it doesn't hit home sometimes 'cause it's so wrong

so, i gotta play ma cards right, suck it up, hold it tight

one false move and it's the end of the night! aight!

in addition, this is just maybe a premonition

of the things to come, y'know, a premature invasion

a fusion of illusions on emotions of the moments

hallucinations are causing pollution on ma emotions

so, wow! i really gotta get out of it now

there's always a time to fold and just move out of it now

before you step in much deeper, get consumed in the dark

but all this feels unreal like playin' poker in the park...

somethin's gotta give...part II

yo, yo, yo...check it!

alright, enough said, everybody knows what's in ma head

i gotta get this information off ma chest before i'm dead

i don't know why i'm doin' this, already done this before

but i guess the last time, i didn't sweep it outta the door

so, i'm gettin' tormented, demented, cemented in the ground

ma whole world's in a mess, it's upside and down

everything's chaotic, i got no place to lay ma crown

and it's not gettin' better, i'm like a clown with a frown

so, just go! and just let me be

disappear from the Earth takin' your memories with thee

i can't stand it anymore, gonna get a lockjaw

gonna get into a frenzy, killing people with a saw!

i can't believe seeing you is turning me inside - blue

this is not just for one of you, so go get a clue

but obviously for now, one is hurtin' me more

are you avoiding me? man! you are turning me sore

bitter, enraged, like a bird and i'm stuck in a cage

can't get out of this maze, i need wisdom from a sage

but i gotta let go, let God turn the page

i need a miracle...or maybe magic from a mage

y'know, a magic bullet, something that can really healeth

or perhaps relieve me of ma misery i can't endureth

'cause to live is to die and to die is to live

but at the end of it all, i say..." somethin's gotta give..."

scrap...

yo! have you seen another and then wished you were dead?

there's too much of the pain to bear, off with 'cha head

there's too much of the hurt and despair, enough said

man! how i wish to sleep and never got outta bed!

if only i could try to get somebody paid

to put me in ma grave is where i wanna be laid

and all of the anguish, how i wish to extinguish

hire myself an assassin and to me be then vanquished!

misconstrued...

so what if i was misconstrued and you thought it was for you?

it doesn't really make a difference as you knew how i felt

back then, when i told you...about ma life before...

like how i was in pain when i chose to slam that door

closed it shut, for now, somehow and i took ma bow

and i was in anguish and now i'm getting over it, wow

look at it from this way, at least i kinda inspired you

to bring out your words to ease the burdens inside of you

so what if you feel like a dork? couldn't pop open the cork?

misread the lines? got yourself caught up in time?

it doesn't bother me and neither should it get to you

by the way, it was I who misconstrued...

Not Afraid - Eminem

this new track by Eminem for his new 'Recovery' album is indeed uplifting. there's something we can all learn from his experiences. so...

Chorus
I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Holla if you feel like you’ve been down the same road

Intro
Yeah, It’s been a ride…
I guess i had to go to that place to get to this one
Now some of you might still be in that place
If you’re trying to get out, just follow me
I’ll get you there

Verse 1
You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay ‘em
But you won’t take the sting out these words before I say ‘em
Cause ain’t no way I’m let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say ‘em or do something I do it, I don’t give a damn
What you think, I’m doing this for me, so f*ck the world
Feed it beans, it’s gassed up, if it thinks its stopping me
I’mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I’m tearing down your balcony
No if ands or buts don’t try to ask him why or how can he
From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he’s still sh*ttin’ and
Whether he’s on salary, paid hourly
Until he bows out or he sh*t’s his bowels out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He’s married to the game, like a f*ck you for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the earth he’s got the urge
To pull his d*ck from the dirt and f*ck the whole Universe

Chorus

Verse 2
Ok quit playin’ with the scissors and sh*t, and cut the crap
I shouldn’t have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it’s a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth
For that f*ck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you’re getting capped
And to the fans, I’ll never let you down again, I’m back
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact
Let’s be honest, that last Relapse CD was “ehhhh”
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain’t going back to that now
All I’m tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW
Cause I ain’t playin’ around
There’s a game called circle and I don’t know how
I’m way too up to back down
But I think I’m still tryna figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn’t
This f*cking black cloud’s still follow’s me around
But it’s time to exorcise these demons
These motherf*ckers are doing jumping jacks now!

Chorus

Bridge
And I just can’t keep living this way
So starting today, I’m breaking out of this cage
I’m standing up, Imma face my demons
I’m manning up, Imma hold my ground
I’ve had enough, now I’m so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now

Verse 3
It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you
So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through
And don’t even realise what you did, believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
My World, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead
No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise
To focus solely on handling my responsibility’s as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it
You couldn’t lift a single shingle on it
Cause the way I feel, I’m strong enough to go to the club
Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I’m raising the bar, I shoot for the moon
But I’m too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and

Chorus
I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Holla if you feel like you’ve been down the same road
End

***

lyrics courtesy of killerhiphop.com

a plethora of pain & past regrets...

"if the shoe fits, i'll wear it..."

Eminem

this has been one of 'em phrases that has been ringing in ma head lately...along with the song from Timbaland - Undertow. i've spoken briefly about it on ma previous post. anyway, i thought the things in ma life that needed time to set had already set and i've gotten over it. however, things are not always what they seem to be. currently, it's as if ma very being is haunted and tormented by ma past endeavours...or i would rather say, failed endeavours...

the very abandonment of a soul whom i once held so dear for an extended period of time has in every sense of the phrase, 'set ma heart up in flames', as i strive to regain what was lost...it seems that every opportunity seized to undo what was done, only bore the fruit of futility and uselessness...ma current state of mind seems to be verging on insanity and exasperation as ma very fabric of existence is being challenged by the time which was consumed in utter and absolute negligence of that one soul...

how can one, just ONE person...make me feel THIS shitty and sombre? well, i believe that to be a rather pointless question to be asked in a time like this, as i am already very well aware of the solution to the said question. besides, this has to be the 2nd time that i'm feeling THIS shitty and glum. i believe the last time this similar incident took its course was approximately, 4-5 years ago. obviously there were OTHER hiccups along the way as well BUT none of 'em were so similar to the first. but what differentiates the 1st from the 2nd is that in the 1st - the bridges built between maself and another were burnt by 'the other', NOT me...although, the bridge still remains, if it were to be examined as a person who was burnt while escaping from a burning building, i would say that the person sustained third-degree burns BUT is still alive...

on the other hand, i have exactly NO IDEA how long this emotion of the moment which is likened to a bubonic plague is going to terrorise the inhabitants of ma citadel - the very essence of ma life...ma soul. if ma memory serves me well, i took about 3 months to get over the 1st shit. only God knows how long i would take to get over THIS shit. but like i said, i've brought this upon maself. i've got to live with the aftermath of the quake, the pain brought by the hurricane and the consequences of ma actions. so...

"if the shoe fits, i'll wear it..."

Eminem